Leave me. Retreive Me.

I write and erase. Hoping not to disturb people if I happen to open my heart too much on a measly blogging website that no one reads anyways. So I will write just what I need to. It will not make sense. Or maybe it will make too much sense.

Please listen to what I have to say. I want You to make me into who You need me to be. But, I need You to be with me through it. Don't leave me. I know for a fact that I will not make it on my own. I need to give You this situation. I need to give you my heart. And what fragile pieces lay around. Please lift this unforgiving and hurt nature from me. Because I can't do this. This is not who I am meant to be. I was told how awful I am, and what hurts the most is that I am beginning to wonder if You feel this way about me. But then you pull me back and remind me. What people say doesn't matter anymore. And only you know my real intentions. Help me to act justly. Help me to love mercy. Help me to walk humbly. Help me to move on. And when I move on, I pray it is in your direction. I am tripping on my thoughts. And I am too tired to lift my feet over them. God. I need you. Please come rescue my heart.

Human Race.

When I was younger, I thought the human race was a beautiful and broken sort of thing. And in some ways, it is. It really is. Of course it is broken. What isn't. But as I get older the beauty seems to be less evident. We live in a fast paced selfish world. And it's hard not to get caught in the strong whirlwind mindset that the world revolves on your very breath. Everyone is so conceited so selfish so unforgiving so human. And it disgusts me each time I see it. Where did this idea come from that if someone hurts you, you have the right to hurt them back just as much. "Why stick up for the kid who made fun of you?" Because everyone you meet is struggling. And everyone needs each other. And there's a reason that person is the way they are. And they are just as precious and fragile as you are. Maybe next time we see our breath evaporating into the air, we'll realize that everyone's breath is evaporating, and if we don't decide to help one another out and love each other, our breath won't have to evaporate. Because we won't be here. This world is dependant upon love and care. Not only of the world itself, but of the people who roam it. The people who are just like me and just like you. So next time you decide to let that kid get bullied, cause he obviously deserves it, think about how they are human and so are you. Get up and stand up. Maybe if we stop living for ourselves, we would see what life is really about.


Do not say, "I'll do to him as he has done to me. I will pay that man back for what he did". Proverbs 24:29